I have googled the bazookas off sleep on the last 6 months, this is in fact my second post on it (which I forgot about until I’d already written this, cool.), to try and work out how to get Reu into the best routine and sleeping through.
So thought I’d share some of my thoughts (you can see how/if they’ve changed if you read my last one 😂) in the form of a list, as it’s quicker to write and this sista ain’t got no time for long essays when I’m a celebs on 💁🏼
Things I hear that annoy me and aren’t true (IMO)
1.) Stick to a routine – literally makes no difference with Reu but makes me miserable cos I can’t go out when I want and feel trapped in the house. It also makes me resent Reu when he doesn’t do what “he’s meant to” at a certain time. How totally unfair on him…he’s a baby and whilst I think a loose routine is good, like eating three times a day and sleeping at night, I just can’t hack the really strict ones – for us they are just a no go.
2.) Sleep breads sleep – does it? I think that’s just a phrase that sounds nice. It doesn’t really seem to make much difference if Reu has napped loads in the day as to whether he sleeps well at night. If anything it’s the opposite, he banks the sleep in the day then sleeps less at night 🤔
3.) Don’t co-sleep – now to be fair I was anti this when Reu was born cos I’d been scare mongered into thinking I’d suffocate him, which is a sensible fear when they are so small I feel. But now he’s older, some nights when he just won’t settle, or he’s ill I just pop him in bed with me (in the spare room so he’s not sandwiched between two grown ups) and yeah I don’t get as good a nights sleep as I would with him in his cot but it’s way more chilled and I LOVE having him so close to cuddle and hand hold.
4.) He/she sleeps through. So many people have said this to me and I’m like whaaaaaat how/so jeal! Then you hear a little more about what people consider sleeping through. It could be a feed in the night, going down at 11, waking up at 5, letting them cry it out…all is not what it seems in the world of parenthood so don’t judge a mum by her sleep stories 😂
Things I have learnt
1.) Sleep is different now, so stop comparing it to the sort of sleep you had pre baby.
2.) You remember the bad nights more than the good ones, of you made a diary overall you’d probs have way more good ones than you thought.
3.) NOTHING stays the same and there’s no miracle answer. Sometimes they are ill, sometimes just in a mood, sometimes too hot/cold, sometimes missing mummy/daddy…so embrace the good nights, even though you’ll probs have broken sleep during them anyway!
4.) As Reu gets older he is deffo becoming more “spirited” and I’m learning when he’s cranky and when he genuinely needs a cuddle. I was told by a few ppl including my health visitor (don’t get me started) to let him cry it out, but have never felt comfortable doing that for even a few minutes. I doubted myself and have worried I’ll make him too needy but honestly as parents we know our babies best for sure. I have found in the last few weeks that his cries have changed (the sound of them) and I can bring myself to let him cry a bit, I’m talking like a few mins. Sometime I pick him up a bit and rock him then pop him down for a little cry with my hand holding his, or I’ll sing to him with my face close to his and he slowly calms down and drops off. This would never have worked for either of us any sooner than when I started it, so controlled crying can do one in my opinion…just do what you feel your bubba needs.
My maiiiiiiiin learning has been to never ever ever compare to anyone else. As firstly, people just plain lie about how their babies sleep as they know it’s what everyone strives for and secondly they are all little people who develop at different times, grow teeth at different times, grow bones at different times, get ill at different times…so c’mooooonnnnnn give em a break.
Disclaimer…I have had those weeks/months where Reu literally doesn’t sleep in the night at all, and it’s so rough in every single way and you think it’ll never get better and every time it does get better you live in fear of it getting worse again but it’s just another one of those parent things no one warns you about before you have one I suppose 😂🙈😂
May I wish you all a good nights sleep at some point this Christmas…#merrysleeping
A side note, here’s what a typical day is like for us in terms of sleep:
Wakes up at 5/6 ish and I move him in bed with me.
He sometimes won’t go back to sleep but sometimes snoozes until about 8/8.30
I usually walk a lot so he sleeps in his pram in the morning (annoying as I way prefer him to sleep at home as I can do jobs)
If I don’t go out in the morning he will nod off on me on the sofa at around 11 and I let him sleep on the sofa until he wakes (anything from 20 mins to 2 hours)
If I walk again in the afternoon he will have another pram sleep, if I don’t he doesn’t really have an afternoon nap.
He will get tired around 6/7 but doesn’t normally sleep until 8 ish and we usually let him nod off on one of us then take him up to bed. I am getting better at putting him down when he’s drowsy not asleep but I’d usually rather just avoid the battle and let him fall asleep down stairs first.
He wakes a few times before we go to bed and we go up and pop his dummy back in or settle him if he’s properly crying (can take ages of he’s really upset). I’ve stopped bringing him out of his room when this happens as I used to bring him back downstairs for cuddles.
He usually wakes 2/3 times a night but for a really quick dummy replacement so it’s not too bad….
…That’s it xxx
What Sophie Sees 